MADAME WEB

While far from the worst movie of the year, Madame Web is definitely one of the most pointless ones, or how else would you describe a superhero film that seems to abhor the genre altogether?

Marvel might have impressively leveraged B-list, C-list or even lower-grade comic book characters into blockbuster territory in the past, but I doubt even the staunchest comic book fan would have been clamouring for a Madame Web movie. Still, the lack of character recognition is the least of the film’s problems.

A much bigger hurdle the disastrously flopped must overcome is a lacklustre script, from the writers who gave you the even worse Morbius. Aside from providing an unnecessary, peripheral backstory to the Spider-Man narrative in the form of a titular prophetic character who has a spurious bond with ‘Uncle Ben’ Madame Web has nothing worthwhile to offer.

And if a plot that includes a generic ‘Spider-person’ villain, the most boring trio of promising, young diverse teens you’re likely to see in a major motion picture and hilarious world-building mumbo-jumbo isn’t enough, the few action sequences in the film are handled with a total lack of visual flair, excitement and directorial skill, as though the picture doesn’t want to be a superhero film at all.

I wouldn’t call Madame Web an abysmal film throughout, though it definitely qualifies as certifiably bad, but if the makers themselves don’t even seem to believe the tale has any potential or point, why would the audience care?

The actors most certainly don’t either, as the talents and charisma of Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Tahar Rahim and anyone else on-screen appear to vanish right in front of you, and they struggle to keep you invested in this vapid IP-led farcical excuse for an actual movie.

release: 2024

director: S.J. Clarkson

starring: Dakota Johnson, Tahar Rahim, Sydney Sweeney, Adam Scott