H4Z4RD

Every attempt at comedy misses the mark, the editing lacks a pulse and the acting is annoying across the board during 90 stupendously tedious minutes.

You know how children always tell stories in short, often unrelated chunks? As in: 'first this happened and than that and than that', ad infinitum? That's a close approximation of the viewing experience H4Z4RD offers, a Flemish film so juvenile and inept it actually makes me livid that a tiny chunk of my taxes went into subsidising this.

The story looks like it has been cobbled together after an all- night binge of bad post-Tarantino, supposedly hip nineties action movies as we follow a man with a finely tuned car on a day of mayhem, crime and misadventures in the city of Antwerp. I'd like to tell you that some of the detours H4Z4RD makes are actually not so bad, but they all are - in some cases horrendously so, as in a scene where a man with a particular sexual preference literally makes love to the lead character's car.

Every attempt at comedy misses the mark, the editing lacks a pulse, the acting is annoying across the board and there isn't an second of creativity or excitement to be found in H4Z4RD's 90 stupendously tedious minutes.

There just isn't a single thing that works in this film, which stakes a claim as the very worst I've seen this year.

release: 2022

director: Jonas Govaerts

starring: Dimitri 'Vegas' Thivaios, Jeroen Perceval, Jennifer Heylen, Frank Lammers